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Dante's Abyss Power Rankings

#1
Dante's Abyss Power Rankings - Preshow Edition

42. Makoto Yuki – Can you really handle a sword that long?
 
41. Taloc – Swordfighting Omniversian #2312
 
40. Eternity Larvae – Shouldn’t you be Eternity Butterfly?  My caterpillars don’t have wings.
 
39. Clownpiece – Fairies are the new black.
 
38. Lord Zedd – How’s your head?
 
37. Deadpool – Did he show up yet?  Someone page Mr. Wilson that he has to participate in the first three rounds this time.
 
36. Yuuka Kazami – I once had an intern that smelled like plants too… do you taste like flowers too?
 
35. Kenpachi – I think he napped through the preshow.
 
34. Gildarts – Everyone always comes back to me wanting just one more ride.  Tsk tsk tsk.
 
33. Kuzuru – Did your production company fold?
 
32. Kerrigan – Never trust a girl with too many pets.
 
31. Cerise – At this point, just don’t trust any girl.
 
30. Sasuke – Init strange when you blink away the seasons?
 
29. Whirda – Everyone loves the diseased female lead, amrite?
 
28. Pennywise – Do you also have fairy wings?
 
27. Cell – Did you grow from last year?  (How many of these are there?)
 
26. Link – …not the same one?  Again?  Is this a joke?
 
25. Handsome Jack – Something tells me that’s not your real face.
 
24. Broly – When you want lessons on how to smash well, you know where to find me.
 
23. Harley Quinn – I knew a clown once in the Omniverse who was a serial killer with a flamin’ head.  I wonder if I just mush you, the fairy, and the man-clown together, could I recreate that clown?  Would you better company?
 
22. Amber Veritz – Do you have all your shots this time?
 
21. Dave Strider – Are your eyes pink behind those sunglasses?
 
20. Ok Dongja – I bet you I could lift your staff ;)
19. Dane Reagan – Y’know, the actual Gipper was always early for everything.
 
18. Jibril – She’s got that look.  Don’t trust that look.
 
17. Retane – Remember to read the manual.  Even sleeping primes forget some stuff, y’know.
 
16. Violet – The weather’s a lot cooler here, isn’t it?
 
15. Jak Mar – *insert 3 to 5 dynamite puns here*
 
14. Skeletor – Nice bone.
 
13. Erik Vrell – Hope you sharpened that pitchfork.
 
12. Desman Black – Does it at least come with benefits?  There are benefits, right?  Dental?
 
11. Shantotto – I was told I needed to rhyme, but I unfortunately did not have the time.
 
10. Serraph Quarrere – Press ‘N’ to enable the Day/Night cycle
 
9. Gilgamesh – At least it’s not the robot again?
 
8. Ricter – Why don’t you have large shoes and comically oversized ears too?  You need to work on your branding.
 
7. Ahana Varma – Can you kindly open your fight with the phrase “I wanna harm ya”? Can we make that your catchphrase?  Too late.
 
6. Mickey Mouse – Oh man, who will do this good guy’s dirty work for him this time around?
 
5. Marisa Kirisame – Yeap, you’re not fooling anyone, either, with that poofy blonde hair and shiny blue eyes.  Nope.
 
4. Victor Wolfe – Stick to the murder, your other talents are… lacking.
 
3. Ash, the [s]Horn[/i] Storm Demon – It took you that long to get out?  Honey, let me tell ya, you were sleeping with the wrong people. (“Can we get that knight lady back? Wasn’t she sane? Or the cop fox? Or the rubber-armed lady.” / “That last one was like a transdimensional demon spawn thing.” / “…damn it.”)
 
2. The Bandit of Fox-Aran – Ahh, perfect, this will do perfectly?  You are all for justice and truth and stuff but secretly are willing to enact genocide or enforce your non-existence police jurisdiction in a private country of another’s owning?  (loves secondaries or something? Close enough) Please sign on the dotted line to receive your hand cuffs, foxy cop badge, and buster arm.  Please self-righteously threaten Karl Jak at your earliest convenience.
 
1. Yu Kanda – It’s not easy to be the center of attention, but if you ever need help getting rid of that pesty card you're holding onto for dear life, you can always DM me.
[Image: KarlSig.jpg]
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#2
hahahah yo i luv u karl wut even
best sho in all the verses
im glad i get to help smash sum primes 4 the all the ppl watching back home
yo do u wanna get a drink n hang after this round if im not dead????
even if im dead i can just come back and we can get something 2 eat or something bro
DA 8 BABY IM N IT 2 WIN IT
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

o also my fite card should say ASS KICKER.
i wuz bandit with no name @ last fight event
ty ty ty
-ASS KCIKER
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#3
Quote: 37. Deadpool – Did he show up yet? Someone page Mr. Wilson that he has to participate in the first three rounds this time.

"I'm here, even if it hasn't been narrated yet."

Dante's Abyss Placings
2015 - 4th
2016 - 2nd
2017 - 4th


PVP Combat Record
(One-on-One)
3W - 0L - 0D
(TAG-TEAM)
4W - 1L - 0D
[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]
Reply

#4
42. (Down 30) Desman Black – Couple’s counseling, quick. [1.9 / 0-1]

41. Taloc – Should have stabbed them more [2.3 / 0-1]

40. (Up 2) Makoto Yuki – Drinks up. [2.6 / 0-1]

39. (Down 34) Marisa Kirisame – Don’t get swept [1.9 / 0-1]

38. (Down 20) Jibril – A scythe-wielding looney in a no rules contest? Have fun [2.15 / 0-1]

37. (Down 22) Jak Mar – Defective fuse? [2.1 / 0-1]

36. (Down 25) Ricter – Keep on keepin on, little fella! [1.75 / 1-0]

35. (Down 9) Link – just because your ally gives you cosmic steroids doesn’t mean you take them [2.7 / 0-1]

34. (Down 21) Erik Vrell – Have some redemption by Macbeth’ing your King [2.5 / 0-1]

33. (Up 7) Eternity Larvae – Get outta that cocoon! [2.7 / 0-1]

32. (Up 7) Clownpiece – Hell ain’t all its cracked up to be [2.7 / 0-1]

31. (Down 3) Pennywise – Please don’t eat the crew between stages [2.85 / 0-1]

30. (Down 5) Handsome Jack – Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger? [2.4 / 0-0]

29. (Down 12) Retane – Oxidation is brutal [2.2 / 0-1]

28. (Down 9) Dane Reagan – Knows how to handle his wood [2.6 / 0-0]

27. (Down 16) Serraph Quarrere – Burn, baby, burn [2.3 / 1-0]

26. (Down 17) Gilgamesh – Gold and blood is a gross color [3.8 / 1-0]

25. (Down 4) Ok Dongja – Went a little limp, didn’t ya? [2.8 / 0-1]

24. (Up 3) Cell – He ain’t perfect, but he’s close [2.8 / 1-0]

23. (Down 19) Victor Wolfe – Penetrated but not quite at the cli—(KARL SCHATP) [2.7 / 0-1]

22. (Up 1) Harley Quinn – No more clowning around (is it weird that this pun works for more than one person?) [3.05 / 0-1]

21. (Down 14) Ahana Varma – Spicy, doesn’t settle well in the stomach. [2.8 / 0-1]

20. (Up 17) Deadpool – Pressure’s on. [3.0 / 0-1]

19. (Up 13) Gildarts – Background [2.6 / 0-1]

18. (Down 7) Shantotto – [3.2 / 0-1]

17. (Up 7) Broly – Attitude adjusted. [2.5 / 1-0]

16. (Up 6) Amber Veritz – Do you have all your shots this time? [2.45 / 1-0]

15. (Up 6) Dave Strider – Jam, Mr. DJ, Jam. [2.7 / 1-0]

14. (Down 11) Ash, the Storm Demon – Don’t stay on your back, even if you prefer it that way sometimes! [2.4 / 0-1]

13. (Up 23) Yuuka Kazami – #Fierce [2.7 / 1-0]

12. (Up 19) Cerise – Sneaky snake is sneaky [2.85 / 1-0]

11. (Up 3) Skeletor – CATCH PHRASE [2.8 / 1-0]

10. (Up 6) Violet – Dysfunctional doesn’t mean broken. [2.8 / 1-0]

9. (Down 8) Yu Kanda – #HeelTurn?? Where them NB hot takes. [2.65 / 1-0]

8. (Up 25) Kuzuru – Self-penetration? Kids these days. [2.9 / 1-0]

7. (Up 22) Whirda – #GirlPower [3.05 / 1-0]

6. (Up 24) Sasuke – Does this mean the lion’ll be back next year? [3.1 / 1-0]

5. (Up 30) Kenpachi – I guess that nap paid off. [3.2 / 1-0]

4. (Down 2) The Bandit – It’s more entertaining to picture you in a small mask robbing houses. [3.0 / 1-0]

3. (Up 35) Lord Zedd – Need to work on those catchphrases [3.3 / 1-0]

2. (Up 30) Kerrigan – You do the math [3.3 / 1-0]

1. (Up 5) Mickey Mouse – Answer to that question? His arch-rival’s minion. This is upper-level nefariousness, ladies and gentlemen. [3.9 / 1-0]
[Image: KarlSig.jpg]
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#5
my favorite position is face down in a pillow, actually~!
just ask Victor. ;3

thanks for the advice though~! xoxox
[Image: tumblr_maolcpnQS61qakj1do1_500.gif]

Warning: Anything that involves Ash should be rated M. Possibly higher.

Erik Vrell : Ash has a 'love' fourth dimensional shape
Erik Vrell : As in its wide and unfathomable for us mere mortals
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#6
Dave Strider chill
[Image: giphy.gif]
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#7
yo u can bet this round will b better 4 the ppl back home
gonna crank it up a noch
yo have u seen ZIG?!??!!?!
man i luv it
Dude u have 2 c him
i luv this stupid bug so much
fucking so many teetb
its cray
ne ways im gonna crush sum1s skill with my hands
more drama rite???? hahahahah
neway i wuz joking B4 i no ur busy

c u @ the finals lol
Asskicker
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#8
[Image: 220px-Pepsilogo.png]

Hi, I'm Whirda Windstrom—a competitor in this year's Dante's Abyss.  

Do you dream of cutting down your foes on the battlefield?  Of power and prestige?

When I was a kid, I had those dreams too.  And do you know what helped me achieve those dreams?  That's right—the cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.  One sip, and I was faster, stronger, and smarter than ever before.  So if you want to be like me, killing and maiming your way to ultimate victory, crack open a bottle of Pepsi today!

Mention this Dataverse message and receive a 20% discount on your next Pepsi purchase.

*Pepsi is a registered trademark of PEPSICO, INC., an affiliate of Syntech Corp.  In no event shall PEPSICO, INC., its subsidiaries, affiliates, agents, representatives, or licensees be held liable for any special, incidental, indirect, consequential, punitive, or other damages.  Any claim that Pepsi improves performance is anecdotal and has not been verified by the appropriate independent regulatory bodies.  Side effects of Pepsi include weight gain, jitters, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, headaches, toothaches, earaches, aches, spontaneous combustion, stroke, heart attack, and death.  Do not consume Pepsi while pregnant, driving a car, operating heavy machinery, or breathing.  Aforementioned 20% discount is not valid in the Tangled Green due to a territorial dispute with Guuacola.  Restrictions may apply.

Dictated, but not read.
[Image: memetrashexclaimationmark.png?width=900&height=604]
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#9
Dysfunctional AND broken! weeeeee

aye my device is dying. wheres the fast chargers in this place? I don't deal with that iphone shit, but all i've seen are those lightning charger things. do you plebs not appreciate android? microUSB is the future.

stay tuned hookers apparently zedd and i are getting closer than ever and not in a nsfw way

Violet looks around desperately for a charger while her device dies a quick death. she would later find she left pokemon go going on in the background, as well as facebook.
[Image: visig2018.png]
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#10
Farewell and bon voyage to our first batch of primes.

All you others, you can have a round of silence to just feel good about yourselves.


42. (Down 25) Broly – [Withdrew / 1-1]

41. (Down 3) Jibril – [4.45 / 0-2]

40. (Down 18) Harley Quinn – [6.25 / 0-2]

39. (Down 4) Link – [5.5 / 0-2]

38. (Down 6) Clownpiece – [5.85 / 0-2]

37. (Up 2) Marisa Kirisame – [3.9 / 0-2]

36. (Down 11) Ok Dongja – [5.6 / 0-2]

35. (Up 6) Taloc – [4.8 / 0-2]

34. (Up 6) Makoto Yuki – [4.85 / 0-2]

33. (Up 9) Desman Black – [4.05 / 0-2]

32. (Down 6) Gilgamesh – [7.1 / 0-2]

31. (Down 3) Dane Reagan – [Withdrew / 0-1]


30. (Down 14) Amber Veritz – [5.05 / 1-1]

29. (Up 1) Handsome Jack – [3.9 / 0-1]

28. (Up 8) Ricter – Beer [3.88 / 1-1]

27. (Up 3) Jak Mar – Dr. Jak and Mr. Mar [4.4 / 1-1]

26. (Up 3) Retane – [4.95 / 1-1]

25. (Up 8) Eternity Larvae – [5.5 / 1-1]

24. (Down 1) Victor Wolfe – [5.5 / 1-1]

23. (Up 11) Erik Vrell – [4.85 / 1-1]

22. (Up 5) Serraph Quarrere – [5.4 / 1-1]

21. (Down 3) Shantotto – [6.2 / 1-1]

20. (Down 1) Gildarts – [5.8 / 1-1]

19. (Up 12) Pennywise – [6.05 / 1-1]

18. (Up 3) Ahana Varma – [5.4 / 1-1]

17. (Down 3) Ash, the Storm Demon – [5.1 / 1-1]

16. (Up 8) Cell – [6.5 / 1-1]

15. (Down 3) Cerise – [5.9 / 1-1]

14. (Up 6) Deadpool – [6.55 / 1-1]

13. (Down 7) Sasuke – [6.7 / 1-1]

12. (Down 4) Kuzuru – [5.6 / 2-0]

11. (Up 4) Dave Strider – [5.55 / 2-0]

10. Violet – [5.85 / 2-0]

9. (Up 2) Skeletor – [5.6 / 2-0]

8. (Up 1) Yu Kanda – [2.65 / 1-0]

7. (Up 6) Yuuka Kazami – [5.55 / 2-0]

6. (Down 4) Kerrigan – [6.3 / 2-0]

5. Kenpachi – [6.4 / 2-0]

4. (Up 3) Whirda – [6.5 / 2-0]

3. Lord Zedd – [6.65 / 2-0]

2. (Up 2) The Bandit – [6.6 / 2-0]

1. Mickey Mouse – [3.9 / 1-0]
[Image: KarlSig.jpg]
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#11
2 all my opponents
lol get rekt
2 all the ppl next round
prepare 2 lol get rekt
Reply

#12
(07-19-2018, 12:28 PM)Bandit With No Name Wrote: 2 all my opponents
lol get rekt
2 all the ppl next round
prepare 2 lol get rekt

how about you get educated?

Dante's Abyss Placings
2015 - 4th
2016 - 2nd
2017 - 4th


PVP Combat Record
(One-on-One)
3W - 0L - 0D
(TAG-TEAM)
4W - 1L - 0D
[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]
Reply

#13
how about u get rekt
Reply

#14
[Image: 220px-Pepsilogo.png]

Hi, I'm Whirda Windstrom—a competitor in this year's Dante's Abyss.  

Do you dream of cutting down your foes on the battlefield?  Of power and prestige?

When I was a kid, I had those dreams too.  And do you know what helped me achieve those dreams?  That's right—the cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.  One sip, and I was faster, stronger, and smarter than ever before.  So if you want to be like me, killing and maiming your way to ultimate victory, crack open a bottle of Pepsi today!

Mention this Dataverse message and receive a 20% discount on your next Pepsi purchase.

*Pepsi is a registered trademark of PEPSICO, INC., an affiliate of Syntech Corp.  In no event shall PEPSICO, INC., its subsidiaries, affiliates, agents, representatives, or licensees be held liable for any special, incidental, indirect, consequential, punitive, or other damages.  Any claim that Pepsi improves performance is anecdotal and has not been verified by the appropriate independent regulatory bodies.  Side effects of Pepsi include weight gain, jitters, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, headaches, toothaches, earaches, aches, spontaneous combustion, stroke, heart attack, and death.  Do not consume Pepsi while pregnant, driving a car, operating heavy machinery, or breathing.  Aforementioned 20% discount is not valid in the Tangled Green due to a territorial dispute with Guuacola.  Restrictions may apply.

Dictated, but not read.
[Image: memetrashexclaimationmark.png?width=900&height=604]
Reply

#15
(07-24-2018, 09:52 AM)Bandit With No Name Wrote: how about u get rekt

I'm pretty sure that isn't the short version of recreation, and if it is, it's not being used properly.

Dante's Abyss Placings
2015 - 4th
2016 - 2nd
2017 - 4th


PVP Combat Record
(One-on-One)
3W - 0L - 0D
(TAG-TEAM)
4W - 1L - 0D
[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]
Reply

#16
#semifinals

30. (Down 1) Handsome Jack [3.9 / 0-2]

29. (Down 3) Retane [7.65 / 1-2]

28. (Down 4) Victor Wolfe [8.3 / 1-2]

27. (Down 11) Cell [6.5 / 1-2]

26. (Up 2) Ricter [6.5 / 1-2]

25. (Down 10) Cerise [7.2 / 1-2]

24. (Down 4) Gildarts [8.6 / 1-2]

23. (Up 7) Amber Veritz – [7.5 / 1-2]

22. (Up 3) Eternity Larva [7.4 / 1-1]

21. (Down 3) Ahana Varma – [8.5 / 1-1]

20. Down 3) Ash, the Storm Demon – [7.6 / 2-1]



19. (Up 8) Jak Mar [6.8 / 2-1]

18. (Up 5) Erik Vrell [7.35 / 2-1]

17. (Up 5) Serraph Quarrere [8.1 / 2-1]

16. (Up 5) Shantotto [9.3 / 1-1]

15. (Down 4) Dave Strider [8.45 / 2-1]

14. Deadpool [7.55 / 2-1]

13. (Up 6) Pennywise [9.25 / 1-1]

12. Kuzuru [8.65 / 2-1]

11. (Down 2) Skeletor [8.75 / 2-1]

10. (Up 3) Sasuke [9.5 / 2-1]

9. (Down 2) Yuuka [8.7 / 2-1]

8. (Down 3) Kenpachi [9.9 / 2-1]

7. (Down 1) Kerrigan [9.15 / 3-0]

6. (Up 2) Yu Kanda [5.6 / 2-0]

5. (Down 1) Whirda [10.05 / 2-1]

4. (Up 6) Violet [8.85 / 3-0]

2. The Bandit [10.1 / 3-0]

2. (Down 1) Mickey Mouse [7.65 / 2-0]

1. (Up 2) Lord Zedd [10.25 / 3-0]
[Image: KarlSig.jpg]
Reply

#17
#finals

19. (Down 9) Sasuke [9.5 / 2-2]

18. (Down 1) Serraph Quarrere [11.1 / 2-2]

17. (Down 11) Yu Kanda [5.6 / 2-1]

16. (Down 1) Dave Strider – [8.45 / 2-2]

15. (Up 4) Jak Mar [9.4 / 2-2]

14. (Up 2) Shantotto [ 12.55 / 1-2]

13. Pennywise [12.75 / 1-2]



12. (Up 6) Erik Vrell [9.95 / 3-1]

11. Skeletor [12.15 / 3-1]

10. (Up 4) Deadpool [10.1 / 3-1]

9. (Down 2) Kerrigan [10.75 / 4-0]

8. (Up 1) Yuuka [8.7 / 2-1]

7. (Up 5) Kuzuru [12.1 / 3-1]

6. (Down 4) Mickey Mouse [10.95 / 2-1]

5. Whirda [10.05 / 2-1]

4. Violet [8.85 / 3-0]

3. (Up 5) Kenpachi [13.4 / 3-1]

T-1. (Up 1) The Bandit [11.9 / 4-0]

T-1. (Up 2) Lord Zedd [10.25 / 3-0]
[Image: KarlSig.jpg]
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