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[Changing Character] Peter Smithson

CHARACTER NAME: Peter Smithson


CHARACTER HISTORY: Peter was an Eldritch Exterminator before he was pulled into the Omniverse. He and his fellow Exterminators traveled through many different universes as they hunted down various eldritch abominations. The creatures they fought were at least large enough to eat planets (some were big enough to swallow galaxies), so they fought the creatures with cosmically powerful weapons like supernova guns and nuclear explosion generators. Peter had a best friend named Servo, who introduced Peter to the Eldritch Exterminators. He also had a girlfriend named Esther, who he loved with all his heart. Unfortunately, Peter's life was turned overboard when the Eldritch Exterminators encountered a horrible abomination called the Nosferatu. It killed many of Peter's teammates, including Servo; and it grievously wounded Esther. Peter, desperate to put a stop to the Nosferatu's rampage, threw himself into battle with it. The Nosferatu was ultimately destroyed, but Peter was fatally wounded in the process. As Peter's barely alive body floated through the null-space between universes, Omni decided to give him a second chance at life. Thus Peter was pulled into the Omniverse, where he would have to learn to live without the extremely overpowered weaponry he was used to. (Extended History)

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: He's a caucasian male with puffy dirty-blonde hair and green eyes. He has a lean muscular build and has a height of 6 feet. His casual clothes are plain shirts and pants of various colors, and his serious clothes consist of a dark beige padded uniform with grey lines running through it. The serious clothes appear to be a flexible armor of some sort. On his right arm is a purple gauntlet with an infinity symbol on the back of its fist, and a large fin protrudes from its forearm. The gauntlet appears to be mechanical, but it is no longer functional. (Picture)

ATK: 5
DEF: 1
SPD: 1
TEC: 3

Physical Strength (1000)
Ranged Proficiency (1000)
Debuff Proficiency (1000)
Area Defense Proficiency (400)

Master Acrobat (400)

Sword of Entropy (300) (Uses Physical Strength) - This 4 foot sword has a small entropy generator attached to a hole at the base of the blade. The weapon has been time-frozen, which means that it cannot move forward in time. The sword can still move, but it can't be changed. It can't break, rust, warm up, or cool down. This time-freezing is needed to keep it from being destroyed by the entropy energy it generates. The time-freeze effect on the sword can be removed with any debuff move that can disable special properties on weapons.

Entropy Slash (300) (Uses Physical Strength) (Uses Debuff Proficiency) - Holding down on a button on his entropy sword's hilt causes its entropy generator to charge up the blade with entropy energy. What is entropy energy? It is a translucent substance that floats in the air like a gas cloud. The energy is absorbed by all matter that touches it, causing the matter to rapidly heat up. Enough entropy energy can heat matter up so much that it'll disintegrate at the atomic level, leaving only stardust behind. However, it's difficult to quantify how much entropy energy is needed for this, especially since it depends on many factors including the material's thickness and its volume. However, its effect on opponents is always consistent.

For this move, Peter charges the blade for 3 seconds, then slashes his opponent. All the entropy energy exits the blade and travels into the point where the blade made contact, heating it up. If the opponent's flesh is cut, it feels like a red-hot poker is pressing on the wound, and the pain stuns the opponent for 1 second. For this to work, the sword must hit the body directly (if it hits armor, the heat on the armor isn't painful) and it must be charged for at least 3 seconds. Charging it for longer won't net additional effects. Peter risks breaking the entropy generator if he uses it constantly, and this move will destroy the sword if its time-freeze effect is removed. One more thing: The entropy slash also does increased damage to environmental objects (such as doors, crates, walls, etc), allowing Peter to slash straight through wood and weaker metals; and breaking through stronger metals can take 5-30 hits depending on the metal and how thick it is (Note that this only applies to environmental objects. The entropy slash doesn't do as much damage to armor and weapons. Blame Omniphysics.)

Sidenote: The pain from the entropy slash fades away quicker if the character has regeneration.

Entropy Protect (300) (Uses Area Defense Proficiency) - The blade can only hold a 5-second charge of entropy energy. Charging for more than 5 seconds causes the excess energy to leak off the blade. As this occurs, Peter can spin the sword to create a circle of entropy energy in front of him. The circle has a 4-foot diameter. If you touch it, it makes you feel like you're touching scalding water, but the pain isn't enough to stun you and it does almost no damage. While the move isn't really a good offensive tool, it's good at warding away opponents. Peter must be constantly charging entropy energy and spinning his sword to maintain the cloud, or it will almost immediately fade away. The sword's entropy generator will break if he does this for more than 30 seconds.

Energy Pistol (300) (Uses Ranged Proficiency) - Fires a red bolt of energy, which does similar damage to a real world pistol. The pistol doesn't need to be reloaded, but it has a semi-slow rate of fire at 1 shot per second. The pistol is powered with batteries that need to be swapped out periodically.

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.

Where did you find us?
I've been on this site before, but I first heard about this site on a messageboard. Someone had written a post about their positive experiences with this forum.

Bump - I've added some details and a picture to the Physical Description. I'm eager to see what you think. I hope I made my character's powers easy to understand.


Sincier apologies for the wait my friend, I had a sick day yesterday. ;~;

First off, OC's are my favorite~ And I am all on board for this cosmic horror hunter. Just gotta tweek some of these things. =3

Entropy Slash (300)
(Uses Physical Strength) (Uses Debuff Proficiency)
So far I count 2 effects on this one. The cuts are both staggering someone(1) and effecting their ability to fight(2) for various amounts of charges. Before we change the OM cost though:
I would like more details about how the cuts are effecting them. It says the pain is enough to stagger them, but how does that impact their fighting ability? What is the entropy energy doing to them?

Entropy Protect (300)
(Uses Area Defense Proficiency) (Uses Debuff Proficiency)
This one is going to have to go up no matter what. It's creating a barrier(1) and the barrier has a lasting imprint effect(2).
This also cannot last for a full minute with all these additional effects without more drawbacks: A suggestion might be that he can only make one of these at a time and actively having to conetrate on the barrier and feed it energy for that full minute or until it reaches the end of its lifespan in the other ways.
"The pain lasts for 10 seconds for each second the opponent touched the wall, or for a few seconds if the opponent only touched the wall for an instant."
10 seconds is way too high for this. I suggest dropping it down to 2-3 seconds.
Again, I need a little more information on how exactly its effecting their fighting ability.

Energy Pistol (300)
(Uses Ranged Proficiency)
Minor wording issue, I don't think 1/second is that slow for a pistol, but its not braking any rules I just wanted to bring that to your attention.
[Image: source.gif]
"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"

I'm glad that you like my character. I've edited the app to balance his moves and to explain what entropy energy does. Here's a quick summary: for entropy slash, to keep its cost down to 300 OM I simplified it. If Peter charges his sword for at least 3 seconds, his next slash will stun his opponent for 1 second if it hits them directly (hitting armor doesn't do anything). Charging it for longer doesn't add more effects. The idea I had was that the entropy energy causes anything it touches to heat up (as long as it's not time-frozen like Peter's sword), so with enough entropy energy the wound will become so hot that it'll be difficult to concentrate on the fight. However the way I described it originally was pretty vague, so I hope my new description better describes what the move is supposed to do. As for entropy protect, to keep its cost down to 300 OM I removed its lingering effects on opponents, and now it'll disappear if Peter doesn't constantly maintain it.


Here is your new roster template

Name: Peter Smithson
Spent OM: 5000
Consumed OM: 0
Proficiencies (3400): Physical Strength (1000), Ranged Proficiency (1000), Debuff Proficiency (1000), Area Defense Proficiency (400)
Powers (400/8000): Master Acrobat (400)
Moves (1200): Sword of Energy(300), Entropy Slash(300), Entropy Protect(300), Energy Pistol (300)
Super Moves (0):
Transformations (0):
Assists (0):
Unlocks (0):
Base stats:
ATK: 5
DEF: 1
SPD: 1
TEC: 3

And I've updated your log for you here.

Once you've earned more OM, you can add the other effects to the moves through move approval! And welcome back to the Omniverse~!!
[Image: source.gif]
"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"

Thank you! I'm glad to be back!

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