[NPC] Date Night of the Damned!

Rottytops was slow to wake. She was sprawled out all over her hotel room bed, wearing nothing but her mismatched red and purple underwear. She didn't feel groggy at all, the fine press of the mattress just had an unyielding grip on her.

Not that zombies really needed to sleep, but it still felt good.


She had spent too many hours awake through the night, so she was sleeping like the dead. Her next door neighbors were having fun all night, and she wasn't going miss a moment of eavesdropping.

Checking her phone, she sadly missed the afternoon show. She groaned, more OM down the drain. Not that she was anywhere close to running out. She mysteriously had a good amount on her when she came to the Omniverse. It was mystery because it wasn't money she had before! She just kind of wrote that off as a gift from Shantae when she summoned her. Those Primes are so loaded!

Feeling the draw to gnaw on her own arm, she took that as a sign she needed to get up. She collected herself literally and climbed out of bed to prepare herself a late afternoon coffee.

She surfed the web as she thought dreamily about the couple next door. If she played her cards right with that night's date, she might finally get a piece of that action herself!

"So hard to find men or women who wouldn't run away in terror." She sighed heavily. "At least ones that aren't dream constructs of dictators."

She took one long sip from her mug as she sat back, her mind wandering onto the subject of that strange journey where she entered Shantae's head. They were fighting her memories to reach her friend lost deep in her subconscious. It was funny, Ammo Baron just straight up hit on her and Sky, offering to introduce her to a new world on a magic carpet. She jokingly accepted the offer, she got a chuckle from the look on his face!

Then, her eyes shot wide.

"...wait, why would a construct of Shantae mind be hitting on me?" She said, her face contorting in in a puzzled grimace.

But before she could think too far into that, she spotted the big white letters that signify the time on her phone.

"Wait, it's 6:25pm?" She said, standing up straight. "I need to get ready!"

She threw off what remained of her clothing and quickly leapt into the shower!


An hour later, she was walking down the dim streets of Darkshire, following the directions on her phone. She was wearing her usual outfit, figured this guy wouldn't be wearing anything special to this thing. She did consider wearing her gold plated bikini armor, but that might be a little much for her first date. That's more like second date attire.

She came across the quaint little coffee shop that was her destination. It was lined with red bricks with a large window cut into the buildings face. The large glowing neon-lit lettering spelt "Coffee Chocolate Fondue." It was a the place.

She peeked inside, it was pretty barren in there. No sign of the heart throb rebel leader. She pulled back and peered at the hours. 6am-9pm It read.

In retrospect, it's kind of odd for places that focuses mostly on serving coffee to be open after the morning. Why would Simon ask her to join him so late on coffee run? He must have not thought through his choice of time all that much because of the first date jitters or something. A war rebel with first date nerves? That's adorable!

She also could have been catfished, which would be fun too! Honestly, she'd go with anyone right now, as long as their hot...


She took a seat on the bench out front and waited. She was swaying left and right out of habit as she buried her face into her phone.

Simon cleared his throat and made sure he looked himself several times in the mirror. It’s not exactly a suit and tie but he wore his regular green fuzzy plated coat and cleared his throat before leaving toward the designated location.

He had hoped for a girlfriend but beggars couldn’t be choosers, could they?

What should he bring on the first date?

He’s looking through his small cash fund for now, searching for anything to give the woman.

He nods and leaves the safety of the motel of the Pale moons for the coffee shop “Coffee Chocolate Fondue”

Strange name for a coffee shop, he just hoped he wasn’t set up with the wrong person is all.

Simon looked behind his back and muttered, hoping Marcus could of at least packed him a gun or something. This place gave him chills.

There it was, the strange open late Coffee joint and there was his date sitting inside, looking bored.

He blinked for a second and nodded.

“Hey, Rottytops. It’s me, Simon.”

He looked over at Rottytops and sat at the table, just a bit nervous as the waitress came over and asked what they wanted.

The menu was brought to them and nodded. Simon looked over “Two coffees, one for my date here.”

“Oh, your famous fondue too.”

After a few minutes, she had already moved her butt from the benches outside to the tables indoors. She wasn't certain what brought on the random burst of indecisiveness, she thought it was where she actually needed to be. She sat down without being seated. The waitress was about to call her own this, but she didn't feel like having her face eaten off today and let it be.

As soon as the man in the fuzzy plated jacket walked in, the waitress tried to grab his attention to seat him, but was shocked to see him make a beeline for the zombie girl.

"Hey Rottytops. It's me, Simon!" He said, in the most suavely awkward voice he could muster.

Rotty took no time in eying him up from head toe. He wasn't certain if he should be flattered or threatened by the gesture, especially considering she licked her chops as her eyes passed over his chest.

"Take a seat, Simon!" She said, voluptuously. A strap from her pink tank top had mysteriously slipped down her shoulder a bit, a motion that couldn't have been anything other than intentional.

As Simon took a seat, he immediately noticed the state of the table. Little bit of straw wrapper were strewn about, and there was a ring of coffee residue laying where a cup used to be. The waitress, suddenly getting a bit of courage from seeing the rugged man sitting within biting distance of a zombie, rushed in to wipe the table.

"I'm sorry for the mess. Is there anything I could get you?"

"I'll have two coffees, one for my date here!" He ordered. The waitress had to fight from reflexively cocking her eyebrow at mention of his date. "Oh, your famous fondue, too!"

"Y-yes." She said nervously, just before she escaped to the safety of the back room.

 "Heh, alive people are funny." She said with a giggle. "That's probably one of the friendliest waitresses I've encountered that wasn't a warlock."

"Do people always fear you like that?" He asked, taking another glance at the waitress, barely peeking out from behind the order window. He questioned "warlock?" under his breath.

"Yeah, you get used to it! I mean, after a while, you stop noticing the ones that run away and take special notice of the ones that stay!" She said, resting her hand on her palm while giving him bedroom eyes.

Simon blushed at Rotty's forwardness. Noticing her date's bashfulness, she decided a little ice breaker was needed.

"Oh, woops! I forgot to set out my payment in advance!" She yanked off her arm and dropped it on the table.

Simon flinched, but for not the obvious reasons. He quickly look towards the stump of the arm, his heart suddenly racing a mile a minute.

Bone and tissue, no metal at all. No computer parts, nothing. He sighed, relieved. Rotty cocked her head. He caught notice of her glare.

"Heh, sorry, I fight these things called Terminators. They're robots with human tissue on the outside. For a second there I thought..."

Rotty giggled.

"You were relieved I wasn't a robot?" She said, her giggle evolving into a full chortle. "That's a new one for me!"

As Simon thought about it and he couldn't help laugh about it too! They certainly have a strange mixture of genres at this table!

Rotty's hand was drumming on the table impatiently. Sadly, it had a very different opinion on the humor of the situation.

Suddenly, Rotty had a flash of inspiration, before giving Simon a mischievous glance.

"I almost forgot! This place costs both an arm AND a leg!" She exclaimed, pulling off her leg and plopping it on the table.


However, the knee was a little bit too much over the side and it toppled over towards Simon's side of the table. It fell with a light thud next to his seat.

"Oh! Oops! Could you get that for me, corndog?" She said, giving him another set of bedroom eyes.

It was obvious, even to someone like Simon. This was all just a ploy to get him to touch her leg. Once again, he wasn't sure if he should be flattered or threatened by the gesture,  especially considering she was licking her chops again.

Simon seemed to be taking having Rottytop’s leg fall near his seat pretty well. As in, he hasn’t panicked. He picked up Rottytop’s leg, both eyeing the door and the kitchen area wondering why their coffees and fondue was taking so long.

The rugged assistant of John Connor raised a eyebrow and pointed a finger and wondered if this zombie woman knew anything about Skynet or in that case anything that could be useful.

He suddenly wondered if he picked the right date for a second as she stared at him up and down, just licking her lips like he was Skynet’s favorite sandwich or something.

He became serious and blinked “Say, how old are you, Rotty?”

He thought “No wonder the waitress ran in fear.”

Simon raised a eyebrow “Let me ask you a question? If you were ever asked to join the human resistance back in my world, would you take the .. offer?”

The Resistance human waved the waitress over.

Rotty jumped a bit when he waved in the waitress. She snatched up her arm and snapped it back into place in the stump, then yanked the leg away from his grasp and put it back on under the table. For a second, the woman thought Rotty had been kicking her feet up on the table, but she wasn't going to dare asking.

"Umm, ma'am?" Simon said tentatively. "Our order is taking a while, is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, it's taking a while for the burners to start up, we weren't expecting coffee drinkers so late. Please give us a few!" She said, eyeing Rotty the whole time, who was smiling innocently in return.

Then, suddenly, the door swung open, and a large figure darkened the doorway, everybody immediately turned to give him a their attention. He had a long scraggily beard and messy long brown hair. He wore a jacket that draped down to his boots, belts lined his chest and belly carrying countless numbers of weapons of many kinds. Stakes, garlic, wolf's bane, he had it all easily accessible. A chain whip wrapped around his body.

Rotty slid nervously in her seat as the man sat in the table overlooking their's. There was no point hiding, he must have saw her from the window. She should have been more subtle.

"Do you know that guy?" Simon asked.

"You kidding?" Rotty said in a hushed tone. "It's Belmont!"

"Belmont?"

"Yeah, Bubbles Belmont! He's a vampire hunter... doesn't quite like zombies either. We need to get out of here!"

"Wouldn't it be safer with all these people around?" Simon argued.

"Does he look like the type to care?"

Without giving Simon time to respond, she shot up from her seat and pulled her date to his feet.

"So sorry we have to take off! It's been a blast!" She said, blowing a kiss as she pulled Simon out the door. "See ya!"

As soon as they were clear of the shop, she took Simon's hand and started to walk away, trying to make it look like nothing was wrong.

But something was. The man had already gotten up and had exited the coffee shop himself. He was following their footsteps quite closely. Rotty started to shake visibly.

"Oh Omni, he's following us! He's totally following us!" The zombie girl began to panic.

"Keep calm, if it comes to it, I can protect you."

Rotty, impressed by his masculine gesture, ran her free hand across his chest.

"So brave!" She said with a grin. Simon blushed.

Their pursuer had picked up the pace and was slowing gaining on them. The power couple were forced to up their own steps just so he can't catch up, but he only responded by going faster, and faster, and faster. Rotty could feel his eyes burning holes into the back of her head. The closer he got, the more they could hear him grunt and growl, how he was jangling something in his pockets, how he was breathing heavily.

He was swiftly closing the distance, he was almost 50 feet away at this point. Simon knew he had to do something and quick.