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New Age Book Club: Winter - January 2020

Welcome to the Book Club here on the Omniverse!!

It's a new staff, new year, new situations. So why not New Book Club? After some trial and error, I've tossed out yet another attempt. I'm going rogue!!
Please don't tell Daniel...


In addition to the usual OoC Rules of Conduct, we encourage helpful, well-considered, constructive feedback with both positive and negative comments. Please try to remember that not everyone is confident about their writing, and overly negative feedback is highly discouraged. What we are looking for are patient people who can look at a piece objectively but with a delicate and tactful touch to their criticism. Anyone who is found excessively ruthless in their commentary will find themselves unable to participate. 

If we have picked a piece that you participated in as well, you are allowed and encouraged to join in on the activities as long as there are more members involved than just yourself. This is because self-criticism does not count toward the 150 minimum words as covered by the guidelines(See below).

Review Writing Guidelines

Reviews must be a minimum of 150 words and should include your opinion on whether the participating member(s) deserve a bonus or not, and if yes, then 'Good', 'Great', or 'Exemplary', according to the Bonus Rewards Guidelines. Please don't consider this an arbitrary number to fill; this just filters out those reviews that were clearly made with no effort.

Topics may include writing from multiple members. Please try to give everyone included a decent review and an individual grade.

Try to go into detail about what you liked and didn't like about an RP. Try to keep it objective and positive: it's absolutely not okay to just tear down someone else's work without saying anything good about it. The more detail the better, and the more effort you put into your reviews the more likely we are to choose one of your topics to review, as thanks for your help to other members.

Please do not skim. If we suspect people are skimming topics, we may have to be more stringent on requirements, which makes it harder for staff to enforce, and more difficult for you to write your review. If we suspect particular members are skimming, we may bar them from future participation in the book club. This is free OM, so it's in everyone's best interest to keep it that way.

As far as grading goes, please be non-partisan. If you think your friend's topic truly merits Exemplary, awesome. But if we notice people constantly doing this and we consistently disagree with the gradings, we'll weigh your opinion far less than those who tend to give accurate gradings consistent with the Bonus Rewards Guidelines.

Book Club Material

How we will be choosing the new submissions will vary on activity among the current members. Know that we are searching the entire Omniverse, new and old work alike, for a variety of stories. Our agents are watching the accolades, recent stories, and reaching into the achieves for possible threads.

We are not just looking for the best stories that the site can provide us with, as writers we should hone our ability to give feedback in a professional and personal way. By doing so we can offer our voices and experience to those around us, and give an example of what kind of criticism we'd like in return for a later date.

If anyone has any stories they'd like to offer for future book clubs, please PM Dust or Moon Knight with these suggestions.


By participating you will earn Bonus OM, naturally.

200 or 300 OM will be rewarded for the Short Story of the month, depending on the size of the thread. Threads that belong to this category can be anywhere from 3,000 words to 10,000 words or less.

350 or 450 OM will be rewarded for the Novella of the month, depending on the size of the thread. Threads that belong to this category can be anywhere between 10,000 words to 30,000 words.

500 OM will be rewarded for the Seasonal story. This reward can only be claimed one of the three months the story will be featured. This category can be 40,000 plus words with no upper cap. 

As a completely voluntary activity, feel free to review one, two, or all of the three categories. We do ask that you specify which one you are participating and make it clear which one you are criticizing at any time. Generally with some sort of coding or labels. Do not feel as if you need to do all three in one go, post twice/thrice if you wish to do all three this month.

The bonuses will stack accordingly, but we will only honor one Seasonal bonus per three months. (They will follow the seasons: Summer, Winter, Fall, Spring.)


Short Story
I found this sticking out of the snow! Should be educational~. Hoshi no Amaterasu should at the very least give us all something different to read!!

Hoshi no Guu(Star Piece Quest) In light of there being a lot of questions about the star pieces and what they do... Maybe we should see what's up in this one! Maybe we'll be inspired to bring them together and see what REALLY will happen. 

As a reminder, this thread will be available through all of Winter.
Under The Cheerful Town is perfect for curling up on a cold weekend with a hot cup of tea.
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"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"

=Short Story Review=
Alrighty, Rain’s review of the star of the great august god who shines in heaven, or Hoshi no Amaterasu for short.

The story of the initial founding of the city of Hoshi is honestly a fascinating read. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes, most prominently at the start, with some missing commas causing run-on sentences, but overall the writing is of great quality in my opinion. It could stand for some additional proof-reading to catch those small mistakes of course, but it didn’t detract from the experience.

The pacing is solid, and the story certainly does not lack substance in both the plot and the characterization. And regarding the story itself, the second post is easily my favorite, and I suspect it was the writer’s as well. I can tell that an extra dose of passion was employed when describing the “explosion,” and it shows. The concept behind that is also an interesting one, seeing as I’m not aware of it ever happening to other Primes, let alone in such a theatrical manner. My only regret in reading this is that the story ends on a rather somber cliffhanger that I wish Ammy were around to continue.

I would easily award this a Great bonus. Possibly excellent, but I can’t be certain of the story meeting the wordcount requirements or that the small typos appear frequently enough that it may be deemed to be just short. That being said, the minor errors do not detract from the story hitting the notes it set out to meet wonderfully.

Hello i'm here to talk about Hoshi no Amaterasu, what i liked about it, what i disliked about it and how it could be improved upon. First off I love how Amaterasu is roleplayed like she's still a god. And while I'm not exactly playing the same type of benevolent god as Amaterasu it's still something I enjoy greatly. Next up I like the second post the most out of the thread, and I feel like it was the strong point having both the mystical side of primes being this thing that even to this day is still quite unknown in what they can do and what their true hard limits are.

While there was some grammar errors everything for the most part flowed well. One thing I will say is that there seemed to be too many parties involved for the reasonably short thread. Five posts are a whole lot to five attention to the four? parties involved. I would have liked to see potentially a bit more on each end.

With everything I have to balance i'd give this a Great rating idealy as it deals with some ideas that are wholly unique to ammy as far as I can tell.
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"While shooting concentrate your mind, gently muttering the spell to the Mini-Hakkero. Aiming at someone you don't like, a magicannon of love will be unleashed!"

I'm going to now talk about Hoshi no Guu. What I liked about it and what I didn't and some advice. (note this will mostly talk about Guu since they did 9/10ths of the thread before gildarts showed up)

First off lets talk about the bad because there is a good number of things I didn't like. First off it was incredibly random leading to a loss in tension and interest in the story as a whole. Next up the number of dead people lead to a lack of caring for any of the villains or opposition because I knew they'd be dead generally by the end of the post or at the very least dealt with. 

That isn't to say chuck wasn't one of the more interesting npc's it's just his death felt incredibly forced and lacked any real substance especially with the star piece being fake. If the star piece had been real Chuck would have been useful in the end but he was just used for plot convivence. A long story short everything bad drags the story down which could have been fixed with some simple changes, maybe more time spent on the characters, maybe saving chuck's death for the actual fight with dama where he saves guu from a death blow.

Now lets talk about the good. Over all Guu wrote grammatically well having very few errors in her posts I can tell. There weren't a lot but there was definitely points where guu's plot shined through allowing her to write a decent story. These little gems alongside Gildarts better writing at the time helped let me finish the thread.

Overall while I don't think the story deserves a bonus of any kind but good work getting that artifact you two.
                                            [Image: tenor.gif?itemid=10243242]
"While shooting concentrate your mind, gently muttering the spell to the Mini-Hakkero. Aiming at someone you don't like, a magicannon of love will be unleashed!"

Short Story: Hoshi no Amaterasu

I'm going to change my format up a bit because I really just want to get into the meat of things. This was a fantastic read, especially for someone who is in the Frozen Fields at this very moment. As the other readers have stated, some grammatical issues, but I hardly noticed them because the imagery was so fantastical and the characters are so full of depth and life. I think my favorite part was how I went into this reading with only kindof an idea of what the character was about and then you basically killed her and I was actually really invested in just a short intro to Amaterasu. I was also relieved when everyone was pretty much okay. Also, awesome interpretation of omnilium. I thought that was cool.

I would give this an excellent rating, it got me into a mood I needed to be for writing, and I really liked the character interaction. So good job.
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Warning: Anything that involves Ash should be rated M. Possibly higher.

Erik Vrell: Ash has a 'love' fourth dimensional shape//As in its wide and unfathomable for us mere mortals

Centurion/Venom: Look, Lassie, you and your overrated succubus are gonna get stomped so hard Ash's morality is gonna mirror back again.

15912.97 + 300 = 16212.97

59969.67 + 300 = 60269.67

25729.89 + 300 + 400 = 26429.89
[Image: source.gif]
"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"

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