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Valerie Kol'ath

#1
CHARACTER NAME:
Valerie "Val" Kol'ath

CHARACTER SOURCE:
Original

CHARACTER HISTORY:

Valerie comes from an alternate version of Earth, which is mostly the same to the modern world, save for the fact that it is inhabited by anthropomorphic animals, rather than humans, and has a higher tech level (Think cyberpunk esque).

 Born to a Vixen and a male fox with more than a bit of demonic heritage (see: a lot) in England, Valerie's upbringing was, for the most part, rather standard, and unremarkable. However, during her teenage years (14) some of the abilities related to her demonic heritage began to manifest, she found that she could read the thoughts of others, and even use this ability to manipulate her peers. This is where her descent into the darker side of society began. She became involved in small time crime, drug use, and had her own little clique protecting her, many of them victims of her telepathic meddling. 

By the time the Vixen was 16 she managed to accidentally kill her partner at the time, something she later learned was thanks to the cursed genes she inherited from her father. This was a turning point in her life, as after this event she only fell even further. What had started as small time crime, the sort of stuff one could expect from stupid teenagers, became something far more sinister. Valerie descended into a world of excess, sex, drugs, violent crime and disturbing sadism. England's criminal underworld treated her well; she had money, pleasure on-demand, and a fair amount of power, more than a teenager really should have. If anyone threatened her, then they would mysteriously be found dead in their bedroom after a party, or they would throw themselves off of buildings for seemingly no reason. 

This all seemingly came crashing down when, during her 20th birthday party, the police raided the building, and Valerie was taken into custody along with pretty much everyone present at the party. It was shortly after this, during an escape attempt that she was whisked away by Omni. 



PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:
Age: 20 
Height: 5"10'
Appearance: Valerie's body is covered in mostly stark white fur. She has a collection of scattered red stripes across her abdomen, and a series of black markings along her body. These include lines going from her eyes and down her arms to her middle finger on each hand, and a line of crossed zig-zag markings which go from her eyes, up along her head, down her back and then along the back of her long, bushy tail. Her back sports a pair of rather large wings similar to that of a dragon (or your stereotypical winged demon), and upon her forehead, if one were to inspect closely, she sports a pair of filed-down horns. 

STARTING STATS:
ATK:1
DEF:1
SPD: 3
TEC: 5


STARTING PROFICIENCIES:
Ranged prof (1000 OM) 
Debuff prof (1000 OM) 

STARTING POWERS:
Telepathy (1500 OM) 
STARTING MOVES:

 T1 Super utility: Sinful Whispers (Requires Telepathy, Debuff prof) (600 OM)

Using her telepathic abilities Val manipulates the target of this move into becoming completely infatuated with her, making them believe that they love her more than anything. Individuals affected by this move are much easier to target with Val’s other debilitating abilities. This effect diminishes the smaller the difference in TEC between Val and her target, becoming mostly ineffective if her TEC is lower. This move requires a degree of concentration to maintain, and can only effectively be used on one person at a time. In terms of stats, the target suffers a -2 to TEC for one round. 


Succubus’ kiss (Requires ranged prof) (300)

In order to activate this move, Valerie blows a kiss at her target, which then sends a small magical projectile shaped like a lipstick mark at her target, which travels roughly at the speed of an arrow. If the mark hits, it allows her to deal constant - but light - necrotic damage to the marked target, and is maintained so long as Valerie is aware of their location. This projectile has no max range as it were, but can only be fired if Valerie can see her target or is otherwise aware of their location. The damaging component of this move can be maintained so long as Valerie is aware of the location of the target (this can be sight, or through powers such as enhanced senses etc.)

While the mark is visible to Valerie, the effects of this attack are virtually invisible and leave the victim feeling drained of energy, and if afflicted for long periods of time due to the internal damage of their organs they will be left with a bloody cough.

This move requires minor concentration to maintain, as Valerie has to keep tabs on the location of her opponent to keep up the damaging component of this move. 

Boxing shadows (Requires Telepathy) (300 OM) 

Through use of her Telepathic abilities, Val is actually able to defend herself from attacks to a degree. She achieves this through misdirection, using telepathy to make her opponent believe that she is in a different place than she actually is.  For example, someone may thrust at the air a foot to the right of her, but as far as they are concerned they've managed to sink their blade straight into Valerie. This move, as with all telepathy based moves, becomes less effective if her opponent has high TEC. This move cannot be used to physically block attacks, it just makes them easier to dodge or parry. Because of the difficulties inherent to telepathy, this move requires concentration to use and fatigues Valerie greatly if used for long periods of time. Because of this, she can only use this move for short bursts of time, a maximum of 10 seconds before a break of equal length must be taken (while this move can be used for longer in a pinch, it's effectiveness is reduced the longer it's used past the 10 second limit).  If Valerie's opponent has suppression, then the effectiveness of this move is greatly reduced. 


I confirm that I have read the rules of conduct etc. 

Oh, and it's ya boi, Feran. 

#2
Edgy as hell, but legal to be made... Lets get down to the brass tacks. Stat spread is fine as is the starting powers and proficiencies. What is not fine is all three of your moves...

Sinful Whispers and Succubus' Kiss

Gonna lump these two together since they break the same major rule. You can not lower an opponents stats with a regular move. At all. The only way to lower an opponents stats is using the debuff proficiency and a super move. The formula is generall 4 stat points per sp for a single post or 2 stat points per sp for a full round. 
While there are other things to point out, I get the feeling that the moves will be completely restructured soon so I'll hold my tongue on those for now.

Boxing Shadows

Telepathy is a taxing power. Using its full weight while in active combat is not an easy thing to do. While this move would be possible, there needs to be a lot more added such as the fact that suppression would be highly effective at negating this move, a fatigue cost, whether this is just a passive ability or requires activation... 


An interesting idea you've put together, none the less. I hope you further refine it... A good guideline to go for is to think if the move seems overpowered. Would you be able to abuse it? If so, there's a good chance you will need downsides to balance them out. Rest assured, if you put in too many downsides for a move, I will be all too happy to tell you that you can add more power.
In battle it is important to keep a sharp blade

But it is by far more important to keep a sharp mind.

#3
Gave the moves a bit of an edit, hopefully they're alright now.

#4
You're Friendly Neighborhood Werewolf here~
Everything up to this point looks pretty smooth so far. I am here to point these things out.

Val Wrote:Succubus’ kiss (Requires ranged prof) (300)


This move allows Val to drain a target of their ‘life force/energy etc.’, dealing a constant amount of damage to the target which scales with the difference in TEC between Val and her target. In terms of scaling, if her opponent has a higher TEC than her than the damage is minor, and at 0 TEC this move inflicts major damage to her opponent. The attack appears as a stream of flowing energy moving from the target to Val and any damage that is received leaves no physical marks, although an opponent may start bleeding from their mouth, etc. due to the internal damage.

This move requires Val to be aware of the location of her target in some way and thus can be stopped if the target manages to successfully hide or mask their presence in some way.   The maximum effective range of this move is about 20 feet, although it is more effective and easier to maintain at closer distances.


The wording of "life force/energy" also does not bode well. Possibly just defaulting to "necrotic damage" or some other flavorful words.

That is the easiest solution I have for that.

The other absolute is the damage done depending on the TEC difference. We do do damage between attack and defense in combat.

And finally the more fun part.

Drawbacks.
Your move has none. Drawbacks can come in many shapes and forms. I think the best drawbacks for this would be a mark of some sort. What kind of mark depends on what you want to do, but here's a breakdown that Rain typed up. No, he's not staff - but he might as well be - but I couldn't honestly write anything more accurate without butchering it.

Quote:If it's a mark and the effect is maintained, it's neither homing or debuff. It needs to have a drawback of needing concentration/fatigue.

If it's a mark and the effect is lingering, it's a debuff. The drawback is that the mark can be dodged.

If it's not a mark, but the effect is maintained, it's homing. The drawback again needs to be concentration and fatigue.

If it's not a mark, and the effect is lingering, it's a homing debuff, and kinda illegal.
[Image: source.gif]
"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"

#5
Move has been edited, thanks to peeps who gave me some tips etc.

#6
Looks good, Approved.


Name: Valerie "Val" Kol'ath
Spent OM: 4700
Consumed OM: 0
Proficiencies (2000): Ranged prof (1000), Debuff prof (1000)
Powers (1500/8000): Telepathy (1500)
Moves (600): Succubus' Kiss(300), Boxing Shadows(300)
Super Moves (600):  T1 Super Utility: Sinful Whispers(600)
Transformations (0):
Assists (0):
Items:
Artefacts:
Bases:
Unlocks (0):
Base stats:
ATK: 1
DEF: 1
SPD: 3
TEC: 5


You know what to do.

Here's your purchase log: https://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=11266
[Image: source.gif]
"Centurion: I'll leave you to your work then Dust. Thanks for chatting!
Me: no problem. stay awesome!
Centurion: It's more of a passive ability"



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